Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Sorry For the Delay

I'm switching sites because I'm no longer in the country and just want a change.

So email me at with Sex and the Country as the subject (because yahoo give me 1000 spam messages a day)....and I'll reply with the link to my new site!

Thanks Everyone............

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Unnaturally Green

So I'm in limbo. I feel so lost. I'm done with school....but don't start my new job until June 15th. I have no idea what to do with myself. I have to take 2 classes in order to start my Bachelor's in the fall.

Tomorrow I start a nutrition class....12 days...4 hours a day...hell. I'm SO thinking of ditching the class but I paid 150 bucks for I better go.

In summer one I'll be taking World Lit...BARF. My ER residency AND literature....that's gonna blow big time.

Friday, May 13, 2005


Tonight was graduation.

Last night was our last party. I'm usually the PR guy for the parties....this one was no different. Well the only difference was the party was supposed to be Wednesday but the lady cancelled on we had it Thursday at Jose's place.

Started at 7pm. I get there at 5 to help Jose get ready and he's already drunk! We go and get 200 bucks worth of liquor and about 70 worth of food. Put 16 bucks worth of cherries in Everclear, slice up about 20 limes, some pineapples, and make queso. The people that normally don't come to our parties show up first. I thought man this is going ot be a huge party if they're here. Well they left after a few hours and a few of the crazy girls get there.

Jose invited his new boyfriend. He's supposed to be 'very well known in Dallas' but he lives in Oklahoma? I dunno about him.

Jose also outed himself to everyone at this party including these three hot girls that he and I hang out with. These girls always flirt with in particular. Lisa is a hella cool girl and she's beautiful. She's one of those people that just 'glow.' Well after about 4 beers, champange, two orange martini's, and 2 redbull and vodka's Lisa and I are sitting on the couch and she said that she had an idea that Jose was gay. She said she just liked flirting with him because he was safe. Then drunk ass me says "So you have no idea about me either?" And her jaw drops. She's kinda drunk and says "I can turn Rusty straight" way loud a bunch that who knows how many folks have discovered that I'm a big mo. Lisa is cool so I think that's why I told her. She's going out with me Tuesday.

At graduation I gave my speech...and won two awards. Won the same award my sister won three years ago when she graduated from nursing school at my college. Was fun. The other award was "Fastest Test Taker" ...kinda a joke award.

Now tonight I'm pretty annoyed for no reason. Just don't feel good.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Land of the Obese

I live in a town where there are two types of people: Skinny, the kind that can eat and eat and don't gain weight, and Obese. I went to my niece's softball game tonight and I was shocked at the people attending. People I haven't seen in 5 years have gained 100 pounds and were virtually unrecognizable. When I commented about this my sister remarked " Try popping 2 kids out your ass and see what you look like!" Guess I hit a little too close to home.

My parents say they're moving from the Country. This weekend they picked up and went to Arlington to check out houses and get an idea of what they will be spending to make the move. That left sweet, innocent me in the house by myself, well with the dog. Saturday night I come home to a dog doing the pee pee dance. I goto my room and chat online for a little while and climb into bed to watch some TV. I get a text message.

Me and this guy go back a few years. He's always had the same ol' boyfriend. You know the kind...treat you bad but they're loaded so you stay with them. I guess that doesn't say much for his character but Man O Man what can I say about his body. For a long time we've been going back and forth on messenger and texting.....flirting with the idea of fucking. If the opportunity were to come up we would definately go for it. He's 24, about 6 foot, 170 of muscle....I mean what else do you do when you're daddy is loaded right?

So he messages me. Daddy has pissed him off and he's 'heading north.' I live north of him and that means he's heading in my direction. We text back and forth. Is this happening for a reason? I by no means planned this but are the Sex Gods telling me that I should take this opportunity to violate my parent's house with Gay Sex? I'm sure my brother and his boyfriend have done some nasty Gay Sex here but I haven't! So I tell him that they're gone. Shortly he's lost in the Country hahaha. One thing about the Country is that the roads all have numbers, no names. I had no idea where he was for a while because I don't know the names of these roads. So after describing the landscape....a good country boy like myself knew where he was.

He heads over......not much talk. He's definately hot...and a little nervous I think. From our long talks he states he's pretty aggressive with guys. Well when he sat down I noticed his huge trouser tent and that was all the 'aggression' I needed. Not much lovey dovey stuff just a good romp and off into the night, back to his husband.

Graduation is Friday.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

I Need a Daddy

I have to do the 'Welcome' for my graduation next week. I'm not sure what I'm going to say because I'm not good with the mushy stuff.

Yesterday I went to look for places to live and discovered that I'll probably be paying alot more than I had anticipated paying. I looked at some houses that have been turned into apartments near Uptown and discovered that $800 a month is probably going to be the average price for those particular places. I looked at some regular apartments off of Central and they're about the same. So I guess it's just a matter of finding what I like and swallowing that lump of $800 leaving my checking account each month.

I was TRYING to sleep in on my week off and have not been too successful at it. This morning I recieved three phone calls from people at school at about 10 AM, which is early for me on a day off. Our crazy bitch of a Dean feels left out like a 15 year old girl and needs to hear more about our plans for graduation day. I'll be so glad to be rid of this controlling, annoying bitch of a dean.

The nutrition class that I was going to take in the May Minimester is full and I cannot find an internet Nutrition class to take this summer, so it looks as if someone is telling me that I should not start my Bachelor's of Nursing right away this fall. I'm strangely OK with it so it must be what I'm supposed to do.

I burned a copy of Ray of Light from my older brother and as I listened to it on my hour and a half drive back from his place today I was flooded with memories of my first boyfriend. Ray of Light had just came out......he lived in Commerce which was where my best friend at the time lived. I lived in Denison and was attending Austin College. I met him at a frat party, and to make a long story short I moved to Commerce to finish my bachelors at a much cheaper University. For about a year we listened to Ray of Light as we slept. The first 3 seconds of 'Substitute for Love' makes my heart melt to this day. I hate the bastard now because I found out this past summer that he cheated on me with this skanky queen. And he cheated on me just like his dad cheated on his mom..............I'm debating on wether or not to bring that up the next time I see him. I haven't seen him since like May of 2001.....I'll either bring that up or punch him in his fat, cheating head.

OH! And new subconcious is a racist. This hot lil fucker from Austin that I've been chatting with showed me this website that tests your bias' on MANY topics; from Meg Ryan vs Julia Roberts to White-European vs African American. I've learned alot about myself.......I like Canadians almost as much as folks from the U.S. and oh ya- I don't like black folk. We can swing this in a postive way though...that just means when I fuck Bernard it'll be extra rough..just how he likes it =)

Sunday, May 01, 2005


This is not a bitch session about online chatting. I know the internet is full of strange people such as myself and I should not expect anymore from them the box of toilet seat covers at my job's WC. BUT sometimes ignunt folks make me wanna comment on them just for kicks.

So on Manhunt.........I'm chatting. This foolio messages me. And my foolio I mean screenname 'btmtop69'

btmtop69: "hey man. Would love to have you fuck me. Whts up?"
Me: "Why do all your pics look different?"

btmtop69: "They were all taken at different times. I try not to look the same my whole life. Change is good don't ya think?"
Me: " [insert sound of dailtone] "

What a complete dumbass.

More online Fuckery:

Goto Big-Boys and you'll be suprised at what you find. I spend hours and hours at work on this site with this big, dumb straight 30-something year old hottie pharmacist lookin at these video clips. I don't get to watch these at home b/c i'm on dailup and it'd take me decades to see what I can see at work in minutes. My favorites are this clip of a Penguin that like trips this other's the funniest fucking thing they're little humans, and there's all the plane crash videos because i'm SO obsessed with watching how those huge planes drop out of the sky. I also like the clips of all the nuclear tests that are set to like some Queen song.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Busy as Fuck

This past two weeks have been pretty much the culmination of two years of nursing's been hell. I've had two tests, one of which was my exit exam, and this week I had my week long Role Transition plus the 40 hours of work I signed up for like an idiot. Needless to say Thursday afternoon after 32 hours of school and 20 hours of work I was exhausted...and getting sick! And did I mention the night out on Tuesday during the week? I know when I over extend myself...I get this little tickle in the back of my throat and then BAM I've got a sore throat and fever.

Friday I had to drag myself into the last day of my Role Transition, which is where a preceptor follows us around as we act as a 'real nurse' for a week, and I had to leave an hour early. I was dying. Last night I was up all night with chills and fever and my goddamn sore throat! I can barely swallow *ahem*

Tuesday night this foolio that I had been chatting with online met me for a millisecond, long enough for him to become crazy annoying and turn into someone I knew I wasn't going to get along with. He's emailed me and called me about 100 times. I've remained an adult and not said anything nasty to him but he keeps flinging these remarks about me and being a real dick. Then the fucker has the nerve to say, "can't we just be friends?" After you just called me every name in the world?

So today I called in sick to work. I was pooped. I layed in bed most of the day. Watched some more of The Family Guy Season 1, and tried to get better. I am better but not 100%.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

I've been too fucking busy to even sleep :( So I'll be lazy and put a picture up of me and one of my best friends up here in the Country.

Monday, April 18, 2005

HookUps in the Past

Like 3 or 4 years ago when I lived by myself in Arlington I was sitting at home one night....looking for fun online when this guy messaged me that was kinda hot. He tells me he has a boyfriend and that they're interested. We exchange some more pics and everything looks OK to me. I talk to them on the phone first because voice is an important part of attraction to me. If you sound like a big ol girl I'm not getting hard. The one I spoke with sounded OK, nothing too masculine but not too girly either I guess.

The guys come over and what the heck was I thinking. In my head I was thinking something went wrong. Did I look at the wrong pics while I was chatting with them? One was like 6'3" and the other was my height. The tall one was G I R L Y. The one my height was from like some eastern European country....normally that'd be hot..but he was from one of those that doesn't teach hygiene or have dentists I guess. I never promise sex over the net. I say "Let's see what happens." So we chat and I tell them it's time for them to go. They ask for explainations and I tell them that I'm just not clickin with them. They are totally offended, like I just told them they're dressed funny or something. I explain that I never promised sex and that I just wasn't attracted. They both sat next to me and started touching me. I felt like I was in a bad porn. I stood up and opened the door and they stormed out....ok one pranced out and one stormed. I thought I was going to have to physically remove them. Craziness.

I don't think that was mean. Just last week I went to a guy's place that I have hooked up with hin the past and he said he had just gotten home from drinking and was up for some fun. I get to his place and it takes like 3 knocks to get him to the door. We sit on his couch and 2 seconds later he's telling me he's not up for it that night. I just hopped up and said goodnight..I didn't freak or anything. I'm not emotionally scarred. Rejection is tough but it's a skill I guess. I've had guys at bars tell me that i'm ugly to my face and I just smiled and walked off. Is that strength or insanity? Lol. My brother's boyfriend thinks that I'm mean because I've told guys that I'm not interested before to thier face. I'd rather someone tell me right up front than beat around the bush with it.

I had no idea what to write about today. It shows.

I bought the sound track to Wicked. I think I've worn it out already. It comes to Dallas in October and I'm gonna have to see it.

Started drinking protein shakes after my work out to help give me a boost. I'm at a point where I need a boost to get me building again. After one week of those shakes and my chest work out today was GREAT! I think I can go up next week....and I haven't gone up on chest in like 3 months thanks to slow growth and a shoulder injury.

I think I'm going to try me some spray on tan but I"m hairy and bald. What if it doesn't spray on so evenly and I look like a chocolate cheesecake?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Joe Poodle

We had one of our best instructors have to take a leave of absence so she could spend more time sticking her fingers down her throat.......O I'm really going to hell for that.....but she was bulemic. She's an awesome teacher. Has a few kids, she's funny....and had a Standard Poodle named Joe Poodle. Every lecture she gives she puts up a picture of her dog. The pics are usually taken by her teenage kids...they've dyed Joe Poodle's hair with Kool-Aid or shaved his hair into funny shapes.

Today we got Joe Poodle in his mohawk.....with a quote "Don't rely too much on Health might die of a misprint"

Joe Poodle died.

More good quotes:

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped"-Sam Levenson

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either"-Jack Benny

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it"-Bob Hope

And my personal favorite........

"You can only be young once. But you can ALWAYS be immature"-Dave Berry

Monday, April 11, 2005

Another Interview

This interview was at another huge Dallas hospital system..for one of thier ICU's. It sounds like a great place to learn alot...learn how to take care of sick sick folks. Folks that my lil home town hospital would ship off. 2 patients to 1 nurse ratio. 4 beds in one room with two nurses, who become each others' buddy for the night.

This interview was on a sunday night because it is for a weekend job that pays like it's full-time. Great!

Interviewed with two women, Crazy woman and Cool woman. Cool woman was late 20's early 30's. Very down to earth. Can tell she likes to have fun at work and that she's very intelligent. Crazy has apparently taken one too many crazy pills and is off the handle tonight. Crazy is a staff nurse and Cool is a charge nurse.

The interview starts out with the typical review of the resume, getting to know you kinda stuff. Then I tell them that I am moving to Dallas for the job because i KNOW it's eating at them inside to ask me but they can't legally ask me. I ask them about what the biggest problem they have with new grads. Crazy goes off on the first of ten tangents. She says that communication is key here. She says that you should always be communicating, asking questions of, and helping your buddy. She goes on and on saying the same thing over and over. She's driving me nuts. She driving the Cool nurse nuts...she's going over board. Cool is trying not to laugh and rolling her eyes, I'm trying not to piss her off. It was tough!

And I know I'm going to hell for writing this but there was a giraffe in the room. Crazy had some crazy eyes to go with! Both were not looking at me. Very distracting. Usually it's one looking at you and you can focus on it but oh no, not here. She was driving me insane. I should get the job for just having to focus on her forehead for an hour instead of her eyes.

During the many tangents about communication I tried to get a word in edgewise. They flat out told me that new nurses suck at meds. So I told them that I thought I'd be an exception to that rule with my pharmacy background. Crazy starts to quiz me on meds......I win. She didn't look at my resume and see the 8 years of pharmacy expirence did she? Oh no. So I aced her quiz.

Wrapping up the interview that was supposed to last 20 minutes but went over an hour......Cool nurse and I were joking...and I asked if there were going to be any guys in the unit to even out the estrogen in the room........and Crazy responds "Yeah there are a few guys. And don't worry, they aren't the feminine type either!" as she flops her wrist down to make the 'gay hand' gesture. I was in shock..and so was Cool nurse.

Oh well...there are going to be nuts everywhere..

Friday, April 08, 2005

Over and Over

Today was the last day for clinicals. It's been forever it seems. The first day of clincals my freshman year there were two students...we were give ONE patient thier morning care and take vital signs. It was hilarious now that I look back. I had to actually talk one of my classmates into not leaving that first day. She was terrified of touching someone else. It was great.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

What's with the Gray?

On my way to school about 30 minutes ago......started out innocently. Storms are normal for here. Hard rain. Windy. Feeling strange. Man it's windy. Is my car floating? Why is rain coming in my windows? Did someone paint my windows gray? Holy crap I can't see out my car. Apply the brakes slowly....slowly. Hmmmm there's two other cars stopped on the road in front of me.

After I whip ass and haul ass home....all of a sudden it's sunny? What the fuck texas weather.

As I walk in the house the news is on and this tall, read headed woman is pointing to about 10 miles south of where I was driving and say those famous words.......'signs of rotation' I think I was in the path of a tornado?

Friday, April 01, 2005

Spring Break on MTV

Eye candy for YEARS....I have watched and drooled over the hot, shirtless guys on MTV's Spring Break. Today I come home...and there are some nipples on the screen that make my mouth water!

So if I will come:

I got offered one of the jobs that I wanted bad! Today I'm supposed to hear from the other.

Two days of clinicals left. Two more tests. Sex and the Country was here to document my two years back home in nursing school.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


Three interviews and no offers. Most of my friends have the jobs they want. And if I hear one of them say "you'll get something soon" one more time I'm going to get out the lecture on communication and show them how incredibly painful that is to hear!~

Jose has been talking to this couple in town. He doesn't hook up, or so he says......the couple is HOT. They have a problem with him being hispanic so I figure they won't be hooking up. Is it wrong that I hooked up with them last night? The bottom guy is HOOOOOOOOOOT. Big ol white boy ass, little hips, brown hair cut real short.....I don't know if I should tell him or not. I really don't want that feeling tells me that what I did was probably wrong.

He's pissing me off anyway. I can only take SO much of his grabbin for my cock and blatent sexual offers from my supposed FRIEND before I have to cut ties with him. It's getting bad. If I goto his house before the gym he tries the car he goes for my cock... he tells all his friends that I turn him down so they give me a hard time.....

I have major Jose envy right now beause he's been offered every position he's interviewed for........his GPA is like 2.8 and he has no other degree. Mine is 3.4 with a bachelor's and a year of graduate work behind me. What's wrong? I can't figure it out. I'm definately good at warming folks up to me, have had no problem there, and this is just worrying the fuck outta me.

The Ring 2 sucked.

Can't wait for the remake of Amityville. Is that how you spell Amityville?

Newlyweds is really a romantic show. How did they learn to do all that lovey dovey stuff anyway.

I'm hungry.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Don't say 'Liquor' around the Lesbians

Thursday, March 24, 2005

It ain't a Workin

Yesterday was a BAD day. Everyone in class has interviews at hospitals that I've applied for months ago! Most of these folks are people that have no other school than nursing school on thier resume....I'm thinking my 'diverse' educational background is a BAD thing! I did just what I thought I should do an apply online to all the places I wanted to work. Well that's a bunch of BULLshit. All the recruiters are these 60 year old bags that don't know a compter from a microwave. After grilling the people that have interviews I found out they all have gone to each hospital in person to fill out a paper application. WTF? What's the point of an internet application if you don't look at em, you old fuckers!

So I take off down to one hospital that some friends have interviews...and wait and be told that all thier internships are filled. I very nice, crazy (good crazy) woman said that they had 2 ER internships left but they were not accepting any more applications. I told her that I applied in JANUARY for the spot and even talked to a recruiter. What's wrong with my application??? What on my application says 'DON"T HIRE HIM.' So Jose and I chit chat with the woman, she gives us the name of another recruiter at a sister hospital and off we go. I'm DEPRESSED as fuck after that. I was gonna head down farther into Dallas to apply at Parkland but I was not in the mood for rejection.

On the way back to the country the crazy recruiter calls and says that she really enjoyed talking and thought it would be a big mistake to pass us up for she called the ER director and told him to interview us for the 2 remaining spots. That's great and all but they never called me....they called JOSE! WTF!

Bad turned to good when Parkland scheduled me for an interview for their ER.......and I relaxed a bit.

But I still can't figure out why I can't get in the door. It's like they want people with just thier associates degree.

I love Neuro! I'm on a neuro unit and I am eating it up. CVAs, TIAs, Seizures.............all so interesting. For the past three semesters I was on a Oncology floor and I KNOW cancer and it's complications like the back of my hand.

After clinicals today the Education staff at the Hospital wanted to teach us about delegation. About what we can and cannot tell other healthcare team members to do. It's great to be in the country because you get to hear educators say things like 'cain't' and 'axe' and 'shoulda' ....

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Do You Have Something to Tell Me?

After some hot luvin about 2 months ago Abe and I have been playing the Dirrty text message game. That came to a screeeching halt tuesday when I get a message you never want to read:

[Right from my cell phone.......]

Abe-"You don't have anything I should know about do you?"
Rusty-"No? What do you mean?"

A-"My balls are all tender and you're the only one that has fucked me in the past couple of months. I'm going to make a dr appt"
R-"I've never had an STD man. Nothing wrong here"

A-"OK Hopefully I'm freaking out about nothing"

So I'm totally freaking out. I'm thinking I'm going to die.....the condom didn't work and I got something from him. Or did I give him something I never knew I had? What the fuck? Later on..more messages.

A-"I'm not thinking HIV..I'm thinking herpes"
R-"What are your symptoms? I don't have herpes"

A-"Ok well as soon as I find out I'll let you know"

And he never answered. The next day I get:

A-"Ya you need to get checked lymph nodes are all swollen"
R-"Swollen where?"

And no more messages. Thursday and Friday blow by and I decide that I'm 3 months late on my routine HIV test and guess I should get my ass in gear and get tested!

After two days of going crazy.....I get this message on Saturday morning while I'm at work:

A-"Sorry to have freaked you out. I just left the doctor and I have as long as you've had chicken pox then you're ok"

Goddamn I hate men.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Coming Soon

On the advice of a friend I recenty bought and hopefully will soon be putting my blog over there. First I have to figure out how the fuck to do that.!!!! I know jack squat about hosting and that bullshit so looks like LOTS of reading and asking questions!

Last night Jose and I went to Woodys for ShowTunes with Bears and had an awesome time. He drove for a change and I wasn't scared for the first time. I think me screaming for my life last time I rode with him made him more concious of his abberant driving style. Bears, ShowTunes, Wayne Smith, lots of fun. There was some TROUBLE brewing when big,queeny guy tried to show some skinny faggy guy that he was big and tough and tried to bump me from my seat.......I wasn't gonna cause probs so I moved a little over but then he kinda bumped this not so sober man and he went OFF. It was great..queeney faggy guy went to complain but the owner is hella cool to us soo fuck off toby...and he left the bar.

From the moment this shaved headed, blazer & jean wearing, muscle bear walked in the door Jose was getting boned. He wouldn't shut up about him and was too chicken to talk to him. We go about our business and Jose spots him pointing at him and asking the bartender what he's drinking.....awwww....well no drinks make it to him? NEXT the big boy decides to make a stroll by our area and WHAM I grab his ass and say "Have u met my friend Jose? " ...and I get the hell out of there. Match made in heaven. I went and talked to his friends and they said that the musclebear had been talking about wanting Jose since the minute he saw him...awwwwww. Why don't that shit happen to me? Instead I get this queeny fool rubbing his crack on my knee cap.

Monday night I ran outside for the first time in a LONG time. I was at my brother's and decided to go run at my old park. The track is 1.5 miles and through a wooded area with animals and people everywhere. I ran 4.5 miles in 33 minutes! I about fell on the ground when I looked at my Rio that was keeping my time. I've NEVER ran that fast outside. I think all the interval training and up hill running on the treadmill has paid off....what the hell am I saying..OBVIOUSLY it has paid off.

Sunday, March 13, 2005


I've been hysterically laughing at and quoting this clip for a WEEK. Saw it at showtunes night at Woodys.

Diana Ross in Jail

Friday, March 11, 2005

Dream Post

This was a dream two nights ago:

I was driving down the highway towards town where my sister lives and there was a torndado in the distance. I get to her house, but it wasn't the house she lives in now in real life, it was a trailer in the middle of a field. I get there and find my sister and niece huddled down and I join them. The tornado just pics up the trailer and tosses it in the feild a bit. We're all OK.

Part two of this dream is me working in the hospital that I worked at when I was getting my bachelor's degree. I was working in thier pharmacy which was on the 4th floor. It was my first day and I was supposed to be at work at 1pm. I get to the hospital and head to the 5th floor which was the nursery. In the nursery there were alot of doctors and nurses mulling around, some I had known when I worked there. I told them I was in nursing school and a very HOT doctor told me that I should be nurse teching there instead of the pharmacy. While we were talking I noticed that out the window another tornado was forming just about 20 yards away from the hospital. The tornado headed towards us and began like drilling a hole into the floor we were in as if it was stationary and trying to get from top to ground. I ran down a flight of stairs to the Pharmacy because I was late to work and ran into a Pharmacist I used to work with. She's short, blonde and has a great body. She saw me and the tornado and leaped down the hall.

The End.
You are Ugly when you're Angry

Attack #1
Last night I met up with the ex pro footballer for some gilati and conversation. Over our hot fudge sundae's we talked about music, work, school....he also has a gay brother I find out....pretty cool. Then he tells me that his older brother molested him as a kid.......AND THAT IS WHY HE IS GAY. My jaw dropped and obviously he didn't hear it hit the table. I said WHAT? He explained to me that his brother molested him..and he was straight up until that point. I asked him when he was molested.....he said 5 years old. So evidently up until 5 he was dating all kinds of hot chicks and was on his way to a family with Mrs. Doesn't Have A Clue.

I met him at 8 because I told him that I was meeting my brothers and friends at 9:30 and I COULD NOT DITCH THEM. So that translated into "I'll follow you there." So there we are at JRs, my older brother, his boyfriend, Jose, me, and 2 feet behind us my date. I wanted to be there with them and not have to 'entertain' him ya know? I wanted to be single and flirt and not worry about looking at guys with him standing there. SO I turn to him on my first attack of the night........."Hey, not to be rude or anything but you gotta go. I'm here with my brothers and I told them I wasn't going to ditch them." He get this look of amazement on his face like he can't believe I just told him to leave a public gay bar. It may have come out alot more rude than I had aimed and I aplogized and explained to him that my intent wasn't to have a date tag along....long story short...I'l never hear from him again.

Attack #2
After many a slander from Jose's now ex boyfriend I was in no mood for him to be hanging around me when I was out. Not to mention that I found out that he was out being a typical fag and spreading roumors about me...innocent me...and just being a general dick. Well miss muther fucker decides to get up the BALLS to walk over to me last night......and stand a foot away from me and the gang, including Jose who is a spineless wimp evidently when it comes to breaking up. I'm no fan of gay drama and I was not going to have this continue a minute longer and ruin my fine evening. I turn to the ex and say "Listen, I talked to Joe Blow last night and he told me the shit you were saying about me and I've had it with your fag drama bullshit so stay the fuck away from me and my friends because I'm not going to have it!" I was amazed by my bluntness and so were my friends because they high tailed it to the next section leaving his queeniness in the dust. He tried several times that night to make contact with Jose, the spineless wimp, and knew that eye contact with mad, gorilla like me would only end in broken bones and missing teeth. On a good note I was told that I was HOT when I had that look on my face like I wanted to beat some ass.

The rest of the night was spent mopping up after crazy, WAY TOO FUCKING DRUNK Jose and getting hit on by strangers. I ran into this lil hispanic dude that I have been going back and forth with on Manhunt and he's hella cute. Great smile, little body and cute. We chat, exchange numbers and plan on hooking up later on that evening if all goes well. Jose is at the bar getting free drinks from the brother's leave..............and it's 1AM. I'm ready to high tail it to my tricks place when I see Jose walking like he's never walked a step in his life across the bar. Holy fuck he's too drunk to drive. After an hour and a half at Taco Cabana he's still hammered dog shit and we have to find a place to crash because he drove and I drove.

Pharmacist, from previous entries, was up the road so I called him up and him being the wonderful person he is, let us crash there. Jose on the couch and me in his bed..not a bad deal. After about an hour of talking and him grinding his ass back on my cock we go at it.....or tried to. I couldn't keep hard for my life after I slapped on the rubber. He had some thin condom that I'm sure felt great if I fit in them...................but I need some that are a little more roomy. That's my story and I"m sticking to it. Rubbing up on him with no condom I was hard......15 seconds post condom application I was a noodle. I feld like Bob Dole. How humiliating. Oh well I'm sure it won't be the last time. But at 26?? What the fuck? Was it the beer? Me jacking off earlier that day a few times..haha..hey it's spring break......who knows.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Tit Soup

One of the most annoying people in my class called me today to brag about getting a job. To my knowledge he is the first person in our class to officially get a job...and a pretty sweet job. What a kick in the ass. This guy is gonna kill someone....and he's got a job. He has to pass his boards in order not to attract more bad karma let's wish him luck.

Last night was muy bueno for my ego. I had like six guys come up to me and either 'woof' or say some other flattering gayism that makes it worth going out ..haha. I was beginning to think that my brother's had posted an ad for my ass somewhere and everyone had recognized it in my new, show off my newly getting round and big ass, jeans. One man in particular did a drive by 'you're hot' and caught my eye. He looked like he was having a blast and was soooooo playful. SO not my physical type. He is an ex pro football player, 6'2", 250lbs, big hunk of meat. I'm used to guys smaller than me. We hung out and talked...a really funny guy. He made me dance to that Janet song I like and both confessed a love of Whataburger after a tough work out. Tonight we're supposed to go get some Italian Gilati and flirt before we split to meet out our friends. He is going to a BYOB straight stripper joint and I'm headed to the homo bars with my brothers and thier menz.

My four day Sex and the City watching stent will be over today. I made it to season 3 and god I love that show. It's like the Dynasty of this time. I could watch it over and over..and I have, each time picking up hilarious one liners that my brothers and I shoot back and forth at each other.

Today's one liner is something for all of us to put on our voicemails. Carrie gives us this one in season 3:

"Hi. I'm not here right now but my shoes leave them a message."

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Ah Ha!

Feeling good on Spring Break. Getting lots of action lately as Chris has pointed out. Last night Jose and I head out to watch 'Queer Factor' at JRs then 'Drag Queen Mud Wrestling' at TMC. Both were lack luster and we quickly decided to head over to the Maleboxx because of it's underwear wearing strippers. We get there and a sign on the door says 'Closed Mondays' but I had to park across the street the place was so packed. We get in and find out it's some benefit for a Drag Queen that's tryin to buy boobs or something ya know so we head in. Right away I see my hot man from manhunt. I ignore him...none of my business what he's doing out. For all I know he could be here with his boyfriend. Then I see what I thought was my first boyfriend ever and almost have a mini freak out because the first time i see that guy after 5 years of not seeing him I'm gonna scratch his eyes out....I'm talking circus freak crazy. We rule him out as not being the ex and Jose starts to drink up! I'm not drinking and watching and over comes manhunt his the stage...he's a stripper. I mention to Jose that the hot piece of ass I had been bragging about was there and see if he can guess who it is. After pointing out everyone in the bar, including two drag queens, he finally gets it right. I can fuck some pretty hot guys some times....but that's all it is. Manhunt man comes over and looks drunk and surprised. He says he told this dragqueen that he'd help her raise each his own. So I can right him off sufficently today even though we chatted for a bit online...................I am the only sane, single gay man on the planet....according to me.

Last night Jose went out to dinner with me and the brothers and thier boyfriends when all of them decided to grill us about not dating each other. I'm so not attracted to him and I think at times he tries to see if my feeling have changed. Last night was one of those nights. Inappropriate touching, laying on the couch with his hand accidentally against my arm, looking at me and staring, ....just being uber creepy. SO I have to put my foot down and tell him if he touches me one more time I'm gonna knock him into tomorrow. It always works...then he rambles on about how we have such a great friendship and he understands that I don't want to fuck it up.

Tonight we're off to our favorite bear bar to watch showtunes.....

Monday, March 07, 2005

Rusty Gone Wild

It's Spring Break....and I'm in Arlington with my brother's and thier boyfriends......and I plan on having lots of fun.

Spring Break started out with a romp from this guy that I haven't talked about. Met him on Manhunt.........I'm not even going to try to describe how amazingly hot this guy one would believe me. A few weeks ago I met him at his place about 2am when we were both drunk. We stood around and talked for a while in this HUGE fucking million dollar home right up the road. I could tell he was nervous....he had a beard that was shaved down real close to his face...but the rest of him was naturally hairless! After we got more comfortable we had the hottest sex I've had in FOREVER! My dick was harder for this guy than any guy I think I've fucked. He let me do all the naughty things I wanted to do to his ass...then I grabbed my stuff and left. I didn't think anything of it other than it was a hot hot hookup.

The next day on my way back to home I got a call from him asking for round two. I was almost home or I would have turned around!

For the next week or so he emailed me pretty steadily....I have no idea why it was just sex I thought. Long story short.....I'm a good fuck. haha

We hookedup again last night and he's such a cool guy..........but I'm going to do my BEST to adequately ignore him so he'll like me...haha

Started recieving information about jobs again.....I LOVE BEING WANTED. It's so nice not to have to HUNT for a job. I have two weeks left this month...3 next month..and i'm DONE! I applied for ER and ICU internships at a few hospitals.......just I can't concentrate I'm so excited...lalalalal

Jose and his man FINALLY broke it much more better for him. His boyfriend kept accusing me of telling Jose about his seedy past but fuck him I've been good and not said a word about what a HUGE slut this guy was before. Whew that feels good to say. He was a HUGE slut.

Watch the movie Sordid Lives...and think "that's Rusty's town"

Thursday, March 03, 2005

In Texas?

Jose and his boyfriend, my former friend I guess, are now in splitsville. He said Jose and I spent too much time together...........when the real reason is that he spent too much time on when Jose knew about it but was too chicken to tell him he knew about it. So I've kinda lost a friend..but Jose has been a GREAT friend! I'd consider him my best friend......but my older brother is my BFF. I've always had male best friends. Jose's man says it's not natural for two gay men to be best friends and not to fuck. Well I have never fucked any of my male best friends........and that's because they were all just jk.

Jose and I spent the afternoon watch movies. He has never seen Sordid Lives, a black comedy about white trash, so we trapsed off to the local Hastings to rent it. I looked in comedy, drama, new release........nothing. I go to ask a clerk and it's this man with BEAUTIFUL lips....oops....she's a girl..and he's a lesbian. I asked her for the movie as she figured out Jose and I.........she walks and I start baggering her about a 'special section' for that type of movie and she chuckled knowing we were family. So we get to where the move's in the section titled Foreign Films. What the Fuck..........a movie about Texas, was in the Foreign Film section. I guess it was Foreign to the area so they didn't know where to put it. Only in Texas would a gay mockery of Texas be filed under forgein films.

And i'm NOT gonna do your stupid MASTERBATION excercises-Brother Boy

Monday, February 28, 2005

Fooled Again.....

I'm such a dummy. Pharmacist, who once before wanted to date then shortly after about 4 dates wanted to 'just play', decided that he wanted to hang out again. I took the hanging out and sexual playfulness as finally he wanted to try and date someone. STUPID ME! I am so bad at this stuff. After he asked me to dinner and a movie, which he cancelled on me for a good reason, and coming to my brother's birthday party.......he just wants to be friends! And I didn't catch that. I was getting hot and cold signals all night I know why. I can be friends with him. He will make a GREAT workout partner when I move back to Dallas.......

After my shitty night out Friday night I didn't go out the rest of the weekend. I think I am bar'd out for a while!

My itty bitty gym is offering Power Yoga! I about fell over when I read that and couldn't wait to go today! I went and it was very basic compared to the classes I used to take, which was cool because I am WAY out of practice from the limber yogi of my past. We did basic Sun Salutations and Tree Pose and Warrior poses. After class I approached the instructor, who was initially intimidated by this 195 pound man in her class full of tiny women, and asked her when she was going to to more classes. She asked me if I had done any Astanga yoga before because she noticed that I knew a little bit about what I was doing. I told her about past yoga classes and showed her some stuff that she hasn't seen in Sherman, Texas before...haha. I am SO excited about my new Yoga class.

Being an arrogant show off I decided to show Jose some moves after class...and I showed him The Bow and was in The Pain shortly after! I have been having right shoulder problems for a little while now and that pose didn't help. After almost crying like a girl, some naprosyn, consult from my Physical Therapist brother, and a bag of frozen brocoli on my shoulder I am feeling ten times better........but no more Bow until later.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Is Germany winning? or losing?

Saturday, February 26, 2005

You're Ugly

Really....that's what he said right to my face. I wasn't being overly aggressive like the 3 guys that spilled thier drinks on me last night..or the one that wouldn't stop pinching my nipples so hard that they were gonna fall off....OR the guy that kept rubbin his hand up my ass...I said hi and he says "you're ugly."

My brother's birthday is this weekend..he's 35 ... haha. Not really, he's 33. I'm in Arlington this weekend to play with them and relax. Last night's trip out was NO BUENO.

Tonight we're going out again. This time I'm taking my car so at 3AM after I've had my fill of Dallas I can go back and goto bed.

The Pharmacist and I were to go out last night and he cancelled saying he had a headache. I had one all day myself so I brushed it off and if it works out it works out. Once before we went out and he changed his mind mid stream from "I want to date" to "I want to have fun." He called this morning because he's supposed to goto my brother's party tonight....he asked me to email him directions.....and he'll see if he can make it. Fuck That.

Why am I single....please don't ask me that. It makes me think of reasons to tell you and then I get down. I'll be 27 this year. Haven't gone out on more than 4 days with a guy in about 5 years. Haven't gone out with the same guy more than twice this year. ..... Ask them.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Lay off the crack!

I am totally in one of those crack head, happy as a pig in mud, nobody is gonna bring me down moods. Went to school all day...had an awesome fucking workout and an great night at work! It's 1:20 am and I have to be up for clinicals in 4 hours...............someone call and tell me to GOTO BED!

Monday, February 21, 2005


Out last night with the brother and his boyfriend who gave me hell because they decided to sit down some this weekend and devle into my blog! I haven't hidden this from them but sometimes I forget what I write!

I suck at getting dressed. So when I'm a lil unsettled I bring another set of clothes so I could possible change my clothes. How neurotic. But I don't wanna look like I got dressed in the dark. Last night I showed up in an old Army shirt and Jeans. My older brother gives me an honest opinion with his facial expression. My older brother's boyfriend gives me a loud, honest opinion too but his is biased. He's into beefy, big boys. So when he says I look HOT my brother usually says I look chunky haha. Rarely do they both agree.

I must have done something right last night because I noticed a little more attention than I normally get....or was that the $2 drinks at Mickeys talking to me? One guy even pointed out that the ARMY on my shirt could be rearranged to spell MARY! haha I had chatted with a guy earlier in the night online and we both said we were going out. I ran into him at TMC and wowsa he's hot! My brother's boyfriend pointed out a hot guy behind me and it turned out to be him. He said he was on his way out which is code for "no thanks."

At TMC my brothers were dancing and I was innocently standing on a corner of the bar that gets alot of traffic. As I was talking to an old friend a big, muscular guy with an 'innocent' look on his face strolled by with his crack hanging out of his shorts! What an easy way to get my i ran my finger down his crack only for him to stop in his tracks like a dog. He keeps droppin his pants a little further and further down so my friend and I can sufficiently moleste him until he turns around and flops out this HUGE dick. My friend has a huge one as well and I'm thinking this ought to be fun. I flippiantly say 'lets go to your place' and we're out the door. At his place lots of playful suck and jerking....honestly I was a bit dissappointed. What should I expect from a guy that walks out the door with you and a friend on the suggestion of it? The guy drove us back to our cars letting my friend out first. When he got out he asks if he can take me back to mine in the morning...because he has other plans for me....awww..haha. I told him I had to get home! I knew he wasn't a potential I left.